Sunset

 I remember the day you first told me that
I was the man that had your heart
From that day forth I knew that nothing would
Ever come and tear us apart

So then people try to warn me about you
Said that I should never trust you
But so stupid so me I didn't listen then
I let myself go fall in love with you

(What happened to us)
You were supposed to be my future
Brought the ring and had to take it right back
(Were you really in love)
Or was I just a game to prove to yourself
You could get me (yeah)

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you for now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

Your innocent smile used to drive me wild
Even though you ain't innocent at all
And now I feel so stupid cause I'm the only man
That ever loved you even with all your flaws
Even your best friend questioned why
I still would be with you after knowing your past
But what she didn't understand is knowing your past is why I thought we could last

(What happened to us)
We had something special but
Was I not good enough for you
(Were you really in love)
Can't show mine was fine
Cause without trying i still ended up hurting you (and I'm sorry)

You're more beautiful than anything in this world
More precious than the rarest diamond or pearl
And even though we didn't work out together
You're still my sunset-set-set-set-set-set
And I know that you and I are two worlds apart
But you'll always be the one to have my heart
I'm gonna love you baby now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set-set

Maybe one day we'll end up talking again
Maybe one day we'll go back to being just friends
Promise to love you baby till my life ends
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set

No matter what happened between me and you
I'll always be the man that you could run to
I loved you then I love you now and forever
Cause you're my sunset-set-set-set-set-set

Amazing Headache Today!

Masya alloh! Sakit banget nih kepala. Kenapa ya? Baru kali ini ngaalamin migran kayak gini. Luar biasa! Coba untuk ditahan, tapi tetep sakit banget. Ditidurin juga gak ilang. Malah makin sakit. Apa ada hubungannya sama rambut gue yang rontok? Ah, tapi masa iya. Gue aja masih gak tau kenapa rambut gue rontok banyak. Heemmm, tapi sempet baca artikel juga sih. Katanya kalo rambut banyak yang rontok, ada gangguan dengan ginjal. Heemmm, gue juga ngerasain sedikit sih ada masalah sama ginjal gue. Tapi..... Ah, mudah-mudahan baik-baik aja. Pray to myself. *Silent*

Trauma?

 - Wait For You by Elliot Yamin -

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then I can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
[Bridge]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you
[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you
[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do
[Chorus]

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.





Dulu pernah gak mau denger lagu ini lagi. Hampir 2 tahun ini, baru berani denger lagu ini. Heemmm, dibilang trauma? Gak juga sih. Emang belum berani aja dengernya setelah kejadian hampir 2 tahun yang lalu. Agak takut dengan liriknya. Takut kalo terjadi lagi dimasa yang sekarang. Dan terbukti, terjadi lagi sama gue. Cinta sama orang yang belum pernah sama sekali gue liat mukanya. Hanya sebatas suara. Udah 2 kali terjadi. Tapi untungnya yang kemarin, gue cepet sadar. Dan lebih milih mundur. Kalo yang pertama, malah udah ngejalanin 4 tahun yang menurut gue sia-sia. Buang-buang waktu dan tenaga. Padahal belum tentu disana dia juga mikirin gue.
Tapi gue menikmati semua. Rasa senangnya. Deg degan nya. Manjanya. Sampai rasa sakitnya yang luar biasa. Because it's a part of my life, before i meet with the right person in my life. But hopefully, this is the right person to me. Amin.
Itu hanya sebuah lagu yang punya kenangan yang sangat dalam buat gue. But, it's still just a song now. And i hear that song everyday. Karena sekarang gue sudah bisa mengendalikan rasa emosional dalam diri gue.

I Swear I Will

Ternyata berada di ketinggian dan melihat lampu kota membuat hal itu muncul lagi.
Ah, gw pengen jatuh cinta lagi.
Kota ini, tempat ini, angin ini, aroma ini, emang membawa sugesti romantis.
Atau emang karena gw pernah melakukan ini? Pengalaman ini? Cerita ini di suatu hari di masa lalu?
Ah, mungkin aja.
Pernah nggak sih lo nyesel jatuh cinta?
Gw sih nggak ya.
Gw mensyukuri setiap saat gw jatuh cinta,
setiap cerita yang terjadi,
setiap orang yang terlibat,
setiap pengorbanan yang dilakukan,
setiap kata kata, energi, rasa yang terluapkan.
Dan di tempat ini, membuat energi ingin jatuh cinta membuncah dengan sangat.
Gw akan jatuh cinta lagi! I swear I will! Dan peduli setan dengan rasa sakit yang bakal ditimbulkan.
Gw nggak peduli dengan bertepuk sebelah tangan,
gw nggak akan peduli dengan diselingkuhin,
ge nggak peduli kalo gw ditinggalkan,
gw nggak peduli kalo tiba2 orang yang gw sayang berubah pikiran,
gw nggak peduli.
Saat gw jatuh cinta, saat gw sayang, I WILL LOOOOOOVE to the max!
No pain can bring me down.
And even if I fall and fail and brokenhearted,
I'll get up.
I'll get up and Loooooove again!

*FA

Hati ke Hati

Hari ini gue lagi buka-buka daftar temen gue di FB. Dan gue berhenti pada nama Farid Ardian. Dia seorang announcer disebuah radio di Jakarta dan salah satu karyawan disebuah pertelevisian. Gak nyangka, apa yang dia tulis dalam note-nya itu beberapa ada yang mengena sama gue. Salah satunya adalah ini.

Maaf.
Untuk apa?
Aku mungkin menyakitimu.
Sedikit. Tapi kenapa harus minta maaf?
Kau memintaku jadi pacarmu. Dan aku bilang tidak.
Terus kenapa minta maaf?
Tidakkah kau terluka? Akan penolakanku?
Aku tidak mau kau minta maaf. Kau tidak salah.
Tapi aku membuatmu sedih.
Resiko.
Tapi aku tetap merasa perlu meminta maaf.
Tak perlu. Aku memilih menikmati rasa ini.
Mengapa?
Karena ini indah. Karena kamu indah. Seandainya kamu tau apa artinya kamu.
Apa?
Kau justru yang membuat hati ini hangat. Jadi janganlah meminta maaf.
Jadi aku harus bagaimana?
Tak pernah sedetikpun ku menyesal pernah merasakan ini. Dan tidak sekatapun aku menyesal mengatakan sayang padamu. Tak perlu minta maaf. Nikmatilah.

Mungkin benar, bahwa cinta tidak perlu meminta ma'af. Just enjoy it even it's hurt for you. Because love it's amazing thing.

A Big Big Big Surprice From You Kang!!!

Semalam si kakang jemput gue dikantor. Terus ngajakin makan ikan bakar deket rumah. Gue pikir langsung makan. Gak taunya dia mau tukar motor dulu. Ya udah, gue pulang dulu kerumah terus mandi. Dirumah masak, jadi mau gak mau gue makan. Tapi dikit. Bener deh. Sampai jam setengah sepuluh malam, si kakang gak datang-datang juga. Ah, gak jadi nih. Batin gue. Handphone gue getar. Sms dari si kakang.

"Jadi ga? Kalo jadi gue mau jemput lo nih"

"Ya udah kesini aja. Tar kalo udah sampe sms gue"

send........

10 Menit kemudian....

"Gue udah sampe nih" 

"Iya, tunggu bentar"

send...........

Si kakang nunggu depan gang rumah. Berangkatlah kita makan ikan bakar. Eh, gak taunya disana ketemu sama temen SMP gue juga. Gue ngeliat si kakang masih bawa tas yang tadi dia pake pas jemput gue dikantor. "Ngapain sih bawa-bawa tas segala? Repot tau. Kaya mau pergi kemana aja"

dia cuma jawab "Gak papa. Mau bawa aja"

Selesai makan gue minta dianterin ke swalayan kecil inisial CM. Tapi tutup. Maklum udah jam setengah sebelas malam. Akhirnya cari lagi yang buka. Mulai dari AM, IM, CM semua tutup. Ada yang buka deket sekolah SMP gue. Selesai gue beli beberapa cemilan. Rupanya si kakang mau cari AM, IM atau CM yang buka lagi. Gue bilang, "Buat apa kang?"  "Beli pesenan lu, kemarin gak sempet beli di Bali. Gantinya coklat aja ya"

Gue baru inget kalo gue minta dibeliin tas, sendal, sama coklat 20 batang. Gak papa lah, biar coklat doang. Kan lumayan thu 20 batang. Hahaha. Malaknya keterlaluan. Setelah muter-muter hampir setengah jam lebih akhirnya dapet lah thu coklat. Tapi baru dibeli 10 batang. *Gak papa lagi* Hehehe. Pas diparkiran AM, si kakang buka isi tas yang dia bawa.

Didalamnya ada tas, sendal, aksesoris yang gue pesen dari dia. "Katanya gak sempet beli?" dengan mata melotot. "Hahaha, surprice lah. Bikin lu ngambek dulu". Jiah!!! Gue dikerjain sama si kakang. Gue tonjok aja pundaknya. Gue jitak kepalanya. Gue jambak rambutnya. Gue unyeng-unyeng thu jidatnya. Loh? Hahaha.

Akhirnya, gue pulang bawa gembolan gede. Tapi seneng lah. Hahaha. Au...Au...Kucing nih gue.

Hahaha. Jaga imej dikit lah.

Sampe rumah gak berenti-berenti ketawa, senyum, geleng-geleng kepala. Tenang, gue gak gila kok. Masih waras. It's a big big big surprice for me!!! Mungkin harganya gak seberapa. Tapi dari cara memberikannya yang surprice buat gue. Kata si kakang, siap-siap aja sama kejutan yang selanjutnya. Hahaha. Penasaran gue. Tar gue kasih tau lagi ya. Thu pun kalo gue udah tau kejutan apa yang mau dia kasih.

Makasih kakang!!!

Membencimu

Serupa cuaca, aku mencintaimu, selalu terikat waktu.
Seperti udara, aku menyayangimu, selalu terikat ruang.
Serupa hujan, aku membencimu, sewaktu-waktu.